This is actually a copy-paste blog. It's my writing for sure but not my current thoughts. Just thought I'd give y'all a heads up before people are like "what the heck made her write this!?" At the point of inspiration I was incredibly confused, stressed, and disappointed about the decisions I had made and was ultimately going to have to make. After a long walk around campus in the dreary hours of the morning, my mind settled upon the idea of emptying its contents onto a blank page. And here we are now, posting a stream of consciousness that seems rather a lot like a good rant. Hopefully it's mildly entertaining!
Choice? Do we make choices or do they make us? Is our free will without restrictions? I contemplate the idea that everything I do is chosen before I do it. God is all knowing right? So did he plan our lives out to the smallest detail or does he just sit by and watch everything play out. Where is the limit which divine interference stops? What put the thought in my head to walk through the wet grass with my slippers on? Better yet, what influenced me to choose not to. Pro's and cons. Weighing my options. On one hand cutting through the grass is shorter, there fore I get where I'm going sooner. But then I have to answer the question of where I am going. On the other hand I go around and stay dry thus taking longer to reach my destination. But still the thought arises... Where am I going? Do we always have to have a destination. Is it improbable to say that my destination is exactly one step ahead of the last I took.
I want to get on the out door stage and twirl around and around until I can't see straight. But I want to look graceful doing it. Attempt one. Look at my shadow on the wall... Attempt two. I'm not graceful; says who? Me. I say so. And I stop. No one is there, no one to judge, no one to mock, no one to appreciate. Yet those stares and hidden smirks attack my shadow on the wall. They stick to me like glue; other people's opinions. They make me stop. But they didn't, they weren't there. I was. I made me stop.
Unrestricted thoughts. I should stop using punctuation and capitalization and correct spelling if I really want to make this unrestricted. But then it would bother me. Because once upon a time someone told me it was wrong, and it stuck. This is when I go to bed for lack of anything else to do. Wishing good dreams upon myself.
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"I had thoughts earlier. Then I lost them. Sometimes I just stare into space. Not really looking at anything, but at the same time taking in everything. Everything within the small parameters of my vision compared to the vastness of the universe. " --Dianna Bellian, Aimless
Thought Loss is a real and very serious disease striking millions of beings around the galaxy every day. If not treated Thought Loss could lead to terrible occurrences taking place. Please watch this video and join the cause. Stop Thought Loss today!
In the future I shall attempt to keep up more regularly with this blog. Who knows maybe some people will become regular readers ;)
As always please feel free to comment on any posts, suggest ideas for future ramblings or simply applaud my witty repartee.
a bientot!
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